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Moving in with the partner, your guide to domestic conflict.

 Some say that love is a chemical imbalance in the brain, designed to make humans want to pro-create which ensure the world’s population continues.  Although this is not a romantic way of thinking, in today’s day and age there seems to be a pattern of which many couples go through, the step towards this pattern is moving in with each other.

Moving in with your other half is a daunting aspect, it really is a make or break part of the relationship that will test the compatibility and the patience of each party involved, this blog post is designed to help you deal with any domestic conflict.

Conflict is perhaps best described by Hychzynski and Buchanan (2007) as a process that stars when one party involved is seeing something that another person or persons involved has negatively affected or something about to be negatively affected, this of course is usually something that the first person involved  cares about in some way shape or form.

1: Ask questions:

It’s easy to presume what  is wrong, but it is also easier than that to get it wrong, so ask questions and be sure, that way appropriate responses can be made to the situation.

2: Analyze expectations

When moving in with someone, it’s important to understand what you both want from this step, or what you both want from each other.

3: Recognize differing perspectives

You may notice that your partner is more open about his or hers feelings about different subjects, you will have many differences of opinion; you may not care if the bed is laid straight away, whereas your partner will want things kept neat and tidy.

4. Identify mistakes

Know when you’ve been wrong, it’s common for stubborn minded people to not want to identify the times their wrong, but in order to keep a healthy relationship and happy home life it is essential to know when you’re wrong and why.

5: Watch out for emotional triggers

This will be of much help to males; females can be especially emotional and more so at a certain time of the month, but with both sexes; know when your partner is more angered, more sensitive and learn the ways of which is best dealt with these emotions and be understanding of their feelings.

6: Focus on preventing escalation

The best defence is a good offence, as with the above step, make sure you know how to prevent situations that will cause a conflict situation. Example: clean up after yourself if you know her parents are coming to visit or knowing not to ask what the football score is, if it seems they may have lost.

7: Take action to control the situation.

When conflicts do occur, don’t sweep them under the rug, make sure you deal with the issue.

8: Commit to working it out

If the relationship is something you are both committed to, then so should you be about finding resolutions to common conflicts  you may have.

9: De-escalate the conflict

Once conflict issues are prepared for and controlled when occur, you should find that conflict becomes a rare occurrence that you can both deal with sensitively.

10: Stay calm

Mckee, J (2009)

 

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Arming yourself for negotiation

The Big Picture, arming yourself for negotiation.

 

With the end of university fast approaching, myself like many other soon to be graduates are focusing on the big picture, our first step on the career ladder.

Students that have chosen to obtain a degree in their chosen field have already increased their chances of getting their dream job, but there are still many hoops to jump through and negotiations to be made to get there.

Hoop number 1:  Academic vs.  Experience

Luckily many university degree’s are arming their future alumni with both, but for some this is still a hurdle to get past. Some courses will be filled to the brim with all the theory, academic studies you would ever need to know to get the job you aim for, but as soon as it comes to putting that into practice some employers may be reluctant to offer a job to someone with so-little field experience.

How to jump this hoop

: use your initiative, if your course does not offer work experience units, or sandwich placements, consider approaching companies to do a 1 day a week placement. The initiative alone shows that you are a go-getter and will also gain yourself experience in the field you wish to work in. If you are too far gone by this point, still apply for paid positions but also consider paid internships or even work experience opportunities in the mean time.

Hoop number 2:  The big RISK!

Companies will have a certain view of graduates, some will be positive and think of them of the ‘future’ whilst others will think students are un-reliable, un-motivated and lack the experience and life skills to deal with their company.

How to jump this hoop:

 prove them wrong, as with most jobs you will need to convey a certain image, university is over and whilst you are still young and out-going you will need to put your business face on for any job opportunities you go for, first impressions count, make sure you make the right one!

Hoop number 3: Negotiating the job offer

One of the biggest problems with students today is not knowing their worth! This can allow students to be taken for a ride when it comes to getting the right position or the right wage, or being treated in the right way in terms of the workplace.

How to jump this hoop

In short, before you can get where you want in life, you need to fully understand your wants, need and most importantly your capabilities along with that of your potential employer’s wants and needs are.

 

Conflict, Confrontations = Truth and Progression

Sometimes laying all your cards on the table is a very hard thing  to do, and sometimes it’s not even a viable option.

Conflict and confrontation, which generally bring about the feelings of anxiety and panic are in fact rare opportunities for the truth of what is in different situations to be revealed or rather to rear its ugly head.

 

The Last Kiss Film Poster

The Last Kiss: Film about a man going through an early mid-life crisis, cheats on his pregnant girlfriend only to realize how he truly feels afterward.

Take relationships and all those matters of the heart. It is common to have some kind of conflict or confrontation and sometimes it is these situations that end up providing a real-insight into what the other person REALLY thinks, sometimes this is good, sometimes it is bad, what is always certain is that after the confrontation has occurred, both parties can then move forward with the truth and insight that they obtained through the confrontation. Sometimes it takes some situation or conflict of interest for us, ourselves to know how we feel truly about the situation and not how we want to feel.

Although this post is primarily making aware the positives of having conflicts and confrontations, it is ragingly obvious that not all conflict and scenarios are good in this way. Take for example the outburst conflicts or confrontations that occur mainly because of how one of the parties day has been, we have all snapped at something so trivial because of a bad day, or a rough night’s sleep that we would have never of let bother us on a normal day.

The next few blog entries set to explore conflict, confrontation and negotiation issues in all the different walks of life, taking a look at the various ‘theories’ and views on each of them and applying it to everyday situations, please get involved, comment on what you think and how you would handle these particular situations, I’m really interested in taking these areas and finding the truth of how they can be negative and positive experiences for both organizations and individuals alike.

 

 

 

Tweet Tweet Tweet

Twitter's LogoSince it’s debut onto our computer screens in 2006; ‘Larry’ the twitter bird has become an iconic symbol for one of the fastest growing social media phenomenons. Similar to recent social networking site ‘Facebook’  which launched in 2004; Twitter isolated and made full use of the status update feature or what is better known on Facebook as ‘what’s on you’re mind?’

The 140 character limit for ‘Tweets’ allows users to ‘micro-blog’ and unless specified by the user tweets remain publicly visible; broadcasting your message around the world.

My personal experience with Twitter started in 2008; for me joining Twitter was mainly to ‘follow’ celebrities. Celebrities are more accessible via Twitter and it is because of this that I feel made Twitter such a huge success – for fans and audiences to feel closer to their favorite brands, actors, artists etc.

Up until recently Twitter was no concern of mine, if you weren’t a ‘somebody’ there was just  no use in you trying to gain followers and to base your account on trying to get the attention of celebrities was a laughable excuse of a social networking service. Though for many like myself the second time round when using Twitter was key. I have learned and experienced Twitter in a whole new light.

Anyone with an interest or hobby can find spotlight on Twitter; mine surfaced as an interest in Public Relations which grew gradually towards a more advanced understanding of the ins and outs of Digital PR campaigns that utilized social media.

The use of #Hashtags on Twitter and the ‘Trends’ is a brilliant addition to this already intriguing site. The idea that you can reach a specific audience who may or may not be following you, tell them your message without having to search and follow all of them and get them to follow you is actually genius.  Individuals with blogs, websites and companies trying to sell products have clicked on to how essential utilizing Twitter is to talking to your audience.

Personally my search is never ending in the journey on finding out more and more about social media networks; recently I have discovered social media metrics used to measure the effectiveness and influence of Twitter, Facebook, WordPress, Quora etc. Sites such as ‘Klout’ and ‘PeerIndex‘ generate stat’s on how influential you are on certain topics and how many people you actually connect with in terms of influence.

It will be interesting to see if any improvements will be made to Twitter; some suggestions such as a feature for being able to directly quote instead of RT which is actually an accessible option on the official apple application.